If you read my last post, and it was too late. If you’ve already read the books (or if you read this after you watched the movie). I have some good news for you. You can reverse the catastrophic effects of this dangerous behavior. You can re-wire your brain to experience genuine pleasure again. It’s not easy. It takes longer to heal your brain than it does to damage your brain. But you CAN do it. Here are three steps to begin with:
Remove exotic entertainment from your life, and I’m not just talking pornography. Don’t watch 50 Shades of Grey or any other form of illicit sexuality (unfortunately this includes most ‘romantic comedies’). If it has a sex-scene, don’t watch it. For me, I won’t watch anything that includes a woman in a bikini or other scanty clothing. This rules out A LOT of TV shows.
Remove music about sexuality from your iTunes account, and don’t listen to it on the radio. Fill your head with “good pleasure” including worship music, classical music, or pop-music with lyrics that are edifying and promote good behavior. It’s okay to have a “Love-list” playlist for spending time with your spouse, but make sure the songs promote healthy behaviors and relationships.
Stay away from anything that is “extra” in your sexual relationship with your spouse. Don’t bring in anything that distracts from the simple pleasure of being together in the way God designed.
Here’s the most important paragraph in this post. Ask God to heal your relationship because ultimately it comes down to his work in your life. That—to me—is the most comforting part of being a Christian. The promise of regeneration isn’t completed once; it’s a continual promise and process. We know this because Scripture teaches us, “The Lord’s loving kindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23) God will hear your cry for help, and will heal your relationship if you ask him. Now you still have to remove the dirt (steps 1-3), but God will do the rest.
Don’t fall for 50 Shades of Gimmick—pursue relationships the way God designed them and your will find genuine pleasure.