Thought you could use a humor break!

Today, I was sitting in church thinking about modern worship music. Normally I sing loudly so that the old ladies in front of me will hear my voice, turn around, and tell me how great of a singer I am. Yes, it’s shallow, but it’s nice to hear someone else – other than my mom – appreciate my talent and recommend that I join the worship band.

But today – instead of singing – a thought occurred to me:

Some of these songs only make sense to Christians. If an unbeliever came in here, they would think we were hippy-earth worshippers from the 16th Century who wanted to be burned alive.”

(Disclaimer: the term “modern worship” in most churches means songs written in the past 300 years.)

Problem Song #1: “Let it rain, let it rain, open the floodgates of heaven. Let it rain, let it rain, open the floodgates of heaven.” I always wonder if I should grab my headdress out of the car and do a rain dance, or just grab an umbrella.

Problem Song #2: “Worthy is the Lamb, seated on the throne…” At this point an unbeliever has to be getting a little uncomfortable – first they sing about rain, and now they worship a lamb on a throne? I bet the priest is going to preach on being vegan.  

Problem Song #3: “You are my king. Jesus, you are my king.” I could understand someone singing this song during the 16th century, when kings still existed – or maybe in present day England. (Of course then it would be “You are my queen.” – not sure that’s better.) But we’ve never had a king in the United States, nor do we know what it’s like to live under a king’s rule. In fact, the last time we kind-of-sort-a had a king, we dumped all of his tea into the Boston Harbor. Maybe instead, we should change the words to: “Jesus, you are my president. Jesus, you are my president.” Or maybe not.

Problem Song #4: “You set me on fire, and I’m burning alive…” Nothing else needs to be said – at this point, unbelievers may go ahead and slip out the back.

What other songs only make sense to Christians? Comment below to continue the discussion…


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