“It’s all the ref’s fault!” I’ve used this line quite a few times. “They blew the game!” Again, I’m guilty of saying this as well. But did you know that, for the most part, this is a myth? The outcome of a game is almost never the ref’s fault.

I remember a soccer game in high school where the refs were terrible. I mean they were so bad that the referee was making up rules that didn’t even exist. The head referee, specifically, was banned from our campus, and was not allowed to ref another game that our team played. It was that bad.

During that game, I tried to blame the refs for losing, but my coach would have nothing of it. He would say, “It’s never the ref’s fault if you lose a game. It’s your fault. You should never allow yourself to be in a situation where the ref could make or break the game. You should never put yourself in a situation where the refs whistle determines if you win or lose.”

A decade later, I am finally figuring out what my coach was trying to tell me. He was trying to tell me that you can’t blame circumstances for failure.

I don’t play organized soccer anymore, and I haven’t yelled at a referee in a while, but this principle still applies to my life. It applies to my life because I have the tendency to blame circumstances when things don’t go my way. I blame my boss when I don’t have enough money. I blame lack of sleep for my lack of personal discipline. I blame cookies for eating unhealthy. We all do it. We all blame circumstances when the real problem is ourselves.

Just like a team should not put their fate in the hands of a referee, we should not put our success in the hands of circumstances. If you do, the chances of winning are always 50/50. But if you take control of your future and your success, if you are winning the game of life by 10 or 15 points in the fourth quarter, a bad call or two or three isn’t going to be your demise. You will succeed.

That is the key to success in a bad economy, and that is the key to success on a ballfield or basketball court. Take control of your success, and don’t blame failure on circumstances.

Do you have any stories of blaming circumstances for failure when, in reality, it was your fault? Comment below and continue the discussion…



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