Blindspots. I hate blindspots. The other day I was driving down the road and decided to get in the left lane. I looked in my mirrors – clear – and started to get over. Well, it wasn’t clear, and the car beside me let me know it. Not only did they hold their hand down on their horn, but they gave me a one finger wave on the way by. I didn’t mean to ruin their morning, but I did – and consequently, I ruined mine too.
But this blog is not me trying to say I’m sorry to the stranger I cut off in traffic. As if by some miracle, they recognized my face, and wanted to read my blog – ya, I’m sure that would happen! This blog is about a big, massive blindspot in my life.
Blindspots in our lives are bad things that we don’t recognize as bad. Either we don’t realize they are present at all, or we think they are actually good things. A great example is a verse from Matthew that says, “And if the light within you is darkness, how deep that darkness is.” In other words, you think you believe truth that ends up being a lie.
I found out that my blindspot is envy. Envy is a fancy word for the dark side of desire, and is the same thing that happened to Eve in the Garden. She saw that the fruit, something that wasn’t hers to have, was “pleasing to the eye” and “desirable” and ate it. Even more simply, envy is setting our hearts on the wrong things. My pastor said it like this, “We are born unsatisfied with the way things are – we have a vacuum within us – and think that what others have will fill it.”
My main source of envy comes from a lack of knowing who I am and what I want out of life. When I see people that have it together, I can’t be happy for them – especially if they have something that I think I want. A job at the right company, a house in the right part of town, a car that doesn’t require you to walk to the passenger side door to unlock it – those kinds of things.
Envy really causes a problem as it relates to love. I can’t love people I envy. In fact, if I’m honest – I look down on them.
The other day we found out that some good friends of ours were having a baby girl. I’ve really wanted a baby girl for a while. I love my boys, I do. They are my best buds. But I grew up with three younger sisters, and I’ve always wanted a daughter of my own. When they told us that they were having a girl, I got mad. Really, I’m not joking. Instead of being happy for my friends – two of my favorite people in the world – I got mad at them. I couldn’t celebrate with my friends because I envied the fact that they were having a little girl. Where there is envy, there is no love.
What do you think is the cure to envy? Comment below to begin the discussion…